Another update... this time from Castlegar Lori:
YOU MUST BE SHOCKED, SAD, CONCERNED AND SOOOO VERY WORRIED....
I WAS TOTALLY DUMBSTRUCK TO HEAR OF THE GOINGS ON IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS. I SURE HOPE THIS DOESN'T SPREAD TO CASTLEGAR. WE HAVE HAD SIMILAR EPIDEMICS OF THIS NATURE IN THE PAST............ AND THEY ARE NOT PRETTY. IT CAUSES QUITE THE UPROAR THROUGH OUT THE FAMILY. A HOME AND FAMILY CAN BE VERY DEVASTated AND AFFECTED BY ALL OF THIS....
IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I SAW YOUR "STICK", LIMP AS A D*CK WEARING THAT SAD ILL FITTING RAINCOAT. MY GOSH ....... YOU MUST BE QUITE BESIDES YOURSELVES OVER THIS WHOLE ORDEAL. I AM QUITE CONCERNED THAT THE CULPRIT WILL NOT BE CAUGHT BECAUSE I AM ALSO WORRIED ABOUT OUR DICKIE.......ER.... I MEAN "STICKIE". OH MANNNN....I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT.
AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE IMAGE I AM SENDING..... OURS DOESN'T HAVE THAT SAD DOWNWARDS LOOK ABOUT HIM , AS YOURS DOES AND HE OFTEN DRESSES UP FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS. HIS MOOD IS QUITE UPRIGHT MOST TIMES AND THE COAT THAT HE SOMETIMES GETS TO WEAR FITS NICELY, ALWAYS A GOOD LENGTH AND LOOKS QUITE COMELY ON HIM . BUT I AM SURE THERE WILL BE THOSE DAYS. I WAS VERY UPSET WHEN I SAW YOURS WEARING THAT ..........THING!!!!
AS FOR HORATIO............HMMMMMMM....... I WOULD BE QUITE CONCERNED OF THE POSITION HE HOLDS IN THE CRIME SCENE WORLD. I HAVE HEARD THAT HE CANNOT ALWAYS BE TRUSTED WITH DNA THAT IS FOUND AT CRIME SITES. I KNOW THAT THERE WAS LARGE STOCK OF RAINCOATS OVER ACROSS THE LAKE ON HEROUX ROAD AT NINE MILE SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK OUT ANY MISSING MEMBERS FOR YOURSELF. DON'T GET SUCKED IN........ I ALSO KNOW THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A LARGE TURNOVER OF MEMBERS IN THAT NEIGHBOURHOOD....JUST CHECK WITH THE NEIGHBOURS. BUT BEWARE OF THEM ALSO. (ESPECIALLY THE LITTLE GUY NEXT DOOR TO THE RAINCOAT HOUSE).
KEEP A CLOSE WATCH.... STRANGE THINGS WILL CONTINUE TO OCCUR........ SIMILAR TO THE FAMILY HEIRLOOM..... I THINK YOU WOULD REMEMBER THAT LITTLE...I MEAN....... BIG GUY THAT SEEMS TO POP UP AND WANDER AROUND THE FAMILY LIKE A GHOSTLY APPARATUS........ OOOPS I MEAN........ APPARITION. I AM SORRY.... I KEEP GETTING MY WORDS MIXED UP........ THIS IS JUST ALL SO UPSETTING...
WELL........ TAKE THIS AS A FAIR WARNING ........ KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED........ AND DO NOT TRUST ANYONE..... WITH YOUR DICK-STICK... DIP STICK...... WELL...... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....TAKE CARE.
FROM A SISTER IN LAW WHOM CAN BE TRUSTED...SORTA
LORI ANN
So there... Just look at her Dickie..ours is still suffering quite badly and can't seem to rise up to the occasion of sunshine...I might try some eucalyptus oil on it. I'll check it tomorrow morning for improvements.. Meanwhile, no sign of Haratio.
No sooner I said that, and here is the email that 9Mile Phoebe sent:
Seems I should respond to this ongoing tale of intrigue of strange things happening over there and you suggested I should enlighten you about this friend Horatio. Well, last week I would have been able to do so but I'm afraid that it seems something has happened to my dear friend and I can't help but think this is somehow connected to your problems at your house. While he was at the Airport all set to come to our aid up here something terrible has happened to H and it looks like he may have come to a tragic end which is so heartbreaking for me personally.
Now far be it from me to point the finger at anyone else regarding this but you know there are some men that are very jealous of this good looking hunk and I do know that my very special garden-boy thinks that he is disgusting and can hardly stand to look at his face while I'm sitting there drooling.
Yes Bea there have been over the years a lot of strange happenings around here and involving Tennessee...you know, the super ugly old witch, the weiner tree etc. and you're right, things seemed to have moved much further north and if I were you I would definitely look over Vernon way and not Nine Mile for the source of all of our shenanigans.
So Haratio has met his maker, has he... and I still have no word about the DNA from my people, so it may be a mystery that continues until the end of time... or until the next time, whichever happens first. Maybe we'll just bury this with Horatio.
"The Creator"
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